Most people have experienced that moment when the perfect response comes to mind… ten minutes too late. It is precisely this common experience that inspired Michèle Ruffault to create “Muscle ta réponsee” (“Strengthen Your Response”), a verbal self-defense program designed to help people regain control when faced with sexist remarks, stereotypes, and microaggressive behavior.
The idea emerged from personal experience. As Ruffault explains, a disturbing dream brought her back to situations she had repeatedly encountered while working as a consultant: during professional meetings, male colleagues were routinely given the floor and attention, while her own expertise was often overlooked.
Searching for answers, she began speaking with other women and quickly noticed a recurring pattern. Many carried the emotional weight of difficult experiences—not necessarily because of the severity of what happened, but because they had been unable to react in the moment.
Why Do We Freeze When Faced with Microaggressions?
Being unable to respond immediately is far more common than many people realize.
Anger, embarrassment, surprise, or shock can temporarily block our ability to react. At the same time, silence from those around us often reinforces this paralysis: when no one else responds, speaking up can feel even more difficult.
This exact moment of emotional “freezing” is what the program seeks to address by providing participants with practical response tools.
Eight Strategies for Verbal Self-Defense
“Muscle ta réponsee” does not promote one perfect response. Instead, participants are trained to use different strategies depending on the situation.
These techniques include:
- Setting clear boundaries with a direct “stop”
- Returning the question to the speaker
- Reversing roles to expose the absurdity of a statement
- Exaggerating or amplifying comments to reveal problematic assumptions
- Reframing the conversation
- Using surprise through unexpected responses
- Redirecting the situation to your advantage
- Applying what Ruffault calls “defining the symptom,” encouraging the speaker to fully explain or extend their logic
According to the program’s creator, the goal is not to humiliate or attack others, but to restore balance and reduce feelings of powerlessness.
Sometimes the Most Powerful Response Is the Simplest One
If there is one sentence Ruffault believes everyone should remember, it is:
“What do you mean?”
A simple question that shifts responsibility back to the speaker, gives them space to clarify or reconsider their words, and provides valuable seconds for the person receiving the comment to regain control.
From Workshops to Podcasts and Everyday Conversations
What initially started as corporate workshops gradually evolved into a broader initiative that now includes a podcast featuring testimonies from people who have experienced similar situations, alongside advice from communication specialists, voice coaches, and conflict management experts.
Although workshops initially attracted mostly women, participation from men has steadily increased—either because they have witnessed these situations themselves or because they want to pass these skills on to future generations.
“The Important Thing Is Allowing Yourself to Respond”
Ruffault herself admits that even today there are moments when she struggles to respond immediately.
When that happens, her first instinct is to observe herself: understand what is blocking her, identify the emotion involved, and allow the intensity to subside.
Because ultimately, verbal self-defense is not simply about finding the perfect comeback.
It is about reclaiming your voice, your space, and your ability to say: “This is not acceptable.”
